Rollercoaster

Insanity is like having a roller coaster ride.

You scream your lungs out, you curse your friend who convinced you to take the ride, go vertigous when the roller coaster swirls and twirls on the tracks, and some of the time, vomit everything that you ate on the floor. You swear that you'll never ride that machine from hell ever again. However once the ride stops, you immediately line-up on the long queue again wanting to have that roller coaster ride one more time.

It seemed I never learned my lesson.

After having the hardest time of my life happening after my previous relationship failed, here I am again feeling that I am holding tickets for my next roller coaster ride. Yes, it has been a year and is obviously time to move on, but after all the pain and anguish, am I really ready to move on and start the next chapter?

I am afraid to make the same mistakes again and I'll do anything to spare me from feeling all that pain all over again. But it seemed my feelings rebelled on me, even if my mind says that it's best to stay where I am right now. My feelings are like on auto-pilot right now.

I am afraid because I am feeling the first stages of falling in love. I love this feeling. I feel like a teen-ager again. I am feeling cliches. Do you remember the feeling that "your heart skips a beat?" I am afraid that I am feeling that all over again.

But I should be wiser now. I experienced that after four years of feeling that way comes a hurtful moment you wouldn't forget. Is it a fair trade?

One thing is for sure however, I am now holding the tickets for another potential roller coaster ride.

And only fools rush in.